Hi.  I’m Rachel Wagner.  Thanks for reading my blog.  I’m hoping to have at least 300 million followers by the end of 2020 so I can monetize this site and buy an Escalade.  I already have 3 so I’m off to a good start!

I’m a wife, mother and anti-kale activist.

I love to:

• Watch reality TV
• Extreme coupon
• Hunt serial killers
• Sit down
• Run March Madness pools
• Eat carbs
• Snuggle
• Bake cakes
• Take naps
• Laugh

I hate to:

• Go outside
• Camp
• Breathe fresh air
• Walk
• Look at polka dots
• Pay full price for toothpaste
• Travel to countries that don’t speak English
• Pick up stuff off the ground