I’m watching this new show on Netflix called “You.”  It’s basically your typical Hallmark movie.  Guy stalks girl.  Girl dates stalker.  Guy kills anyone who gets between him and girl.  Girl catches on and dumps guy (bad move).  Guy stalks her again.  And they all live happily ever after… I think.  I know it might not be politically correct to say this, but I think I want a stalker.  Well let me be clear.  I want this stalker.  This stalker does laundry.  After he shimmies his way into the main character’s life he “makes her happy” by being the perfect boyfriend.  He cooks, cleans, does laundry, reads all of her text messages and kills a few of her annoying friends.  He’s literally the perfect guy.  He lets her focus just on herself so he can focus just on her.  Isn’t that what every girl wants?  A nice loyal boyfriend who happens to take pictures of you from a distance with a wide-angle lens, reads all of your text messages, eliminates your social circle (no more obligatory birthday parties for you), mops your floors and knows your favorite take out spot.  I really think its high time we bring stalkers indoors.  Stop spending your evenings lurking in my bushes.  Come on in and help me around the house.  We can drink wine, fold laundry, figure out each other’s iPhone passwords… you know, the usual.  And stalkers are handy.  Think about it… they usually have a large collection of tools, rope and duct tape.  You can fix anything with duct tape.  Leaky faucet?  Let your stalker fix it.  He gets to be close to you and you don’t have to pay for a handyman.  Win. Win.