If you’ve known me for the past 11 years you know that March Madness is my favorite time of year.  This may seem weird because I don’t follow or play sports… at all.  I’m afraid of balls flying at my face and knocking my teeth out.  I really like my teeth.

11 years ago everything changed.  I was handed this thing called a “bracket” at my old job and my life has never been the same.  I had no idea how to fill it out so I just picked teams based on if I liked their name or not.  I handed it in, along with $5, and didn’t think about it again.  A few days later most of my co-workers hated me and I didn’t know why.  Apparently, I was in first place out of 700 people, picking upsets like George Mason over Michigan State (I have an uncle named George) and Wisconsin-Milwaukee over Oklahoma (Wisconsin makes cheese and I like cheese).  I had UCLA winning it all (I have a friend that graduated from UCLA).  Unfortunately, they came in 2^nd place… and so did I… but I still won $300 so overall it was a good investment.  The next year I also got 2^nd place.  The years in-between haven’t been quite as good, although I did win 1^st place a few years ago in a smaller pool.

That first pool is long gone but my obsession with March Madness has only grown stronger… and more expensive.  I keep telling my husband that someday this will all pay off.   It’s an investment in our future.  When I win BIG I’m buying an Escalade.  If he’s nice to me I might let him ride in it (he thinks it’s a terrible investment).

As the weekend approaches I have a few simple rules.  If you come into contact with me… FOLLOW THEM or consider yourself Un-friended.

1. Don’t call me. Just assume I’m busy mentally preparing to watch a game, watching a game, celebrating after a win, or crying after a loss.  I’m busy and can’t interact with the outside world.
2. If you see me on the street we are only allowed to talk about basketball. I don’t care how much your baby has grown, I don’t want to see pictures of your new house, I don’t want to hear about your new job and I don’t need to know about your family problems.  The only words that should be coming out of your mouth are “how’s your bracket?”  Everything else can wait until April 4^th.
3. Don’t ask me to do any real work. Basically the only reason I show up to work during this season is to watch games on our 3 large flat-screens and my 2 computer monitors.  My co-workers are scared to approach my desk…. It’s AWESOME!  Pray for them.  They’re also obcessed so there are A LOT of bad words being screamed from offices all around my building.  We have to schedule all of our meetings around the games and even during meetings everyone is on the CBS Sports App on their phones.  March Madness should just be a National Holiday and everything should close…. except Comcast and whoever runs the Internet.
4. If you know of a good (and reasonably priced) bracket please contact me. I’m always up for another chance to buy an Escalade.