You really need to keep an eye on the influences in your children’s lives.  You don’t want to let other people lead your kids down the wrong path.  My “honorary child” Annie and I had an honest conversation about life goals last week and it was a good thing we did.  I was able to clear up a lot of misconceptions for her and point her in the right direction.  Here’s a transcript of our conversation:

Me:      Annie, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Annie:  I’m not sure.  Maybe a teacher…maybe an artist…maybe a popstar.

Me:      Wrong!  You’re being a surgeon.

Annie:  But what if I don’t want to be a surgeon?

Me:      Of course you’re being a surgeon.  Or, I’d possibly consider letting you become a defense attorney, aerospace engineer or self-made billionaire.

Annie:  Don’t I get to choose my career and follow my dreams?

Me:      No.  That’s just a lie the greeting card industry started and your parents encourage.  Are “dreams” going to pay for my in-law suite with an infinity pool at your future mansion?  Are “dreams” going to buy me a vacation house in St. Thomas?  Are “dreams” going to pay for my personal butler?  I don’t think so.  Dreams are for poor people.

Annie:  That seems to go against everything I learn in school.

Me:      You should only be learning two things in school; One, how to become a surgeon and two, how to marry a man with a trust fund (as a backup plan of course).

Annie:  What’s a trust fund?

Me:      What’s a trust fund!!!  Oh my gosh.  What are they teaching you at that private school?

Annie:  History and English and stuff.

Me:      Waste of time! How do I get in contact with your registrar’s office?

Annie:  So wait, what’s a trust fund?

Me:      A trust fund is a big pile of money that parents give to their children when they turn a certain age.

Annie:  Do I have a trust fund?

Me:      I don’t think so but you should definitely ask for one for Christmas.  I tried getting one but my parents don’t love me enough.

Annie:  So just to be clear, I should not follow my dreams and instead do a job that I hate so that you can live in my house and have an infinity pool and a butler?

Me:      Exactly.  Glad we had this conversation.